The Hardcore Review: Dial H… For Hardcore!

Much like the new Fall television seasons each year, there are back up shows being developed to be launched as mid season replacements, DC’s New 52 also has a backup plan for some of their comics that don’t quite cut the mustard. Since I am not following all of the New 52, and my bank account thanks me, I am not sure which books have gone by the wayside and which new versions of old titles and characters get the axe.

Cover for Dial H #1

Among the relaunches of DC’s New 52 stands a book that has always been underrated. A title that has been under the radar. And a hero that….. changes damn near every panel. Not to mention a concept that is probably more awesome than it’s ever been, with all do respect to Will Pfeifer and Kano, the series that was relaunched under the name HERO. Dial H is easily the best of the second or third launch of stories. The writer, China Mieville is scripting this absolutely beautifully.

For those of you who may think writing comics is super easy, let me tell you, it’s not. It’s hard and sometimes thankless work. And even other times, it’s people shouting at you about how you ruined a character or screwed up a whole franchise. But to write a book where the main character is several different characters all based upon the limits of your own imagination? That’s just eefed up. You can’t make everyone a powerhouse or an invincible machine of good and awesome. With something like Dial H you gotta crank out a mort or two.

And sometimes half a dozen in a single issue. And it’s such a wonderful read, cause the main protagonist gets in a scrap and even though he’s kind of a badguy, you want him to come out guns blazing and “whoops” here comes a guy who looks like a giant condiment dispenser. And you’re left going “what the hell just happened?” It’s top notch imagination mixed with honest, real world scenarios. Do you think if a magic or spiffy sci-fi gadget gave you powers every time you used it, you would always come out like Supes? There’s only a handful of Alpha and Beta level meta humans in the DC Universe’s Earth. And Mieville is finding all the other guys. AND IT ROCKS!

If this guy lived next door to you and was wielding the “dial” you’d probably want a Xanax or three.

I haven’t written a review in quite some time…. and fragging shame on me for it. I know there are people out there who think what I write sucks. And others who go even further with their thoughts. And they are entitled to them. Thing is, unless I am uber busy or just flat out lazy (guilty), I am doing something. I’m expanding myself by reading comics and watching movies and television shows that allow me to use vocabulary as a tool to possibly get others interested or at least laugh out loud to my thoughts. In the case of Rob Liefeld, it sometimes equals near death threats. But, hey, I’m a grown up and if I couldn’t handle some hecklers I’d have to kick my own ass. Especially seeing as how much flack I give others. But I digest….. <burp>. Must’ve been the beer. This time it’s Rolling Rock.
Now, at least the first 4 issues of Dial H have been drawn by Mateus Santolouco. And I must say, if we’re handing out A’s for effort on writing all these crazy supers the dial spits out, then we’ve gotta maybe find a grade higher for Santolouco for drawing the things that pop out of Mieville’s twisted noggin. It’s sheer insanity, yet it makes so much sense. Take it from a guy who’s last three tattoos were, the Green Lantern Power Battery, Starro and Booster Gold’s sidekick of champions, Skeets, I know insanity. But it’s all about wearing your crazy on the outside. And that’s something comic book creators tend to do really well now a days. Well I guess I should only speak for myself on that matter. Although the aforementioned individual who rather disliked my rant on all things Liefeld, “those who can’t do, critique.” But would that also mean that he or she too cannot do. Especially if s/he’s trolling comic book websites and blasting those who dare share their thoughts.
This book is amazing in every single sense of the word. It’s a lot of fun, and it gets a bit intellectual. I mean they delve into the possible history of the telephone, and splitting dimensions. Fun stuff like that. It’s never a let down. I see big things for this book. At least I hope. Books like this, as with most of the Dial H versions, seem to go relatively overshadowed by, “Why is Wonder Woman wearing pants?” And “why isn’t Superman wearing his red underwear?” Why is there so much time and energy spent on the lower half of superheroes bodies? I mean Solomon Grundy wears short pants and he seems ok with it. Heck, Nash, in my comic Youth in Asia (shameless plug) usually wears shorts too. And cripes, Agnew doesn’t even wear clothes! But this book is still amazing. It could easily be turned into a MMORPG and a high production television series. Like Quantum Leap only even geekier!

The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels wielding the “Best Comic Ever,” Fuzzyface, at SDCC 2010. Fuzzyface BTW will be on sale at table T-32 at the first annual Las Vegas Comic Expo!

Ok, so, it’s been a really long time since I wrote one of these. I might forget how it goes. Better have another beer just to make sure. Can’t believe I’ve only had…. one, two like five beers since I got home from work. I think. I dunno. But I did work out. And that’s sort of what counts. I never read all the original Dial h for Hero books. But I did snag the first half of the Hero series from the early 2000′s and I’ve read the first 4 issues of Dial H and still have the #0 issue to go. Fun fun fun. Ok, so there was this awesome wrestling match I watched from ROH or Ring of Honor Wrestling on their website. Being a “ringside member” of their site allows you to watch a library of their shows.

The entire HDNet television show and all of their current Ring of Honor television shows. Not to mention you get a discount whenever buying stuff off their site. And it adds up. Especially when you’re a wrestling junkie like me. So I watched this event, called Richards vs Daniels from 2010. And in spite of my current feelings about Davey Richards, this was a 5 star match. Davey can flat out wrestle. And if you put Christopher Daniels in the ring you know it’s gonna be a good day. These two went at it. And they drove the fans wild in what had to have been a 40 minute contest.

Overall, there’s not much that could top this match in it’s entirety. The sum of its parts was greater than its whole. But one move spoke to me. In what might have been the greatest collection of wrestling maneuvers and holds, Christopher Daniels executed a Death Valley Driver, or Spicolli Driver for the ECW maniacs out there, on Davey Richards, the future ROH World Champ, onto the ring apron. The single hardest part of the ring. And even then, the match went on another good 10 minnutes. Respect.