However there are times when mistakes are so obvious that they are unforgivable. So without further ado, here are my choices for 15 of the worst comic book movies I have ever come across.

#15. The Punisher (starring Dolph Lundgren)

I went to see this in the theatre when it first came out and I couldn’t understand why they picked Dolph to be the lead character. The Punisher, alias Frank Castle was a man who had been beaten by life, and it showed on his face. Dolph Lundgren, no matter how you colored his hair, no matter how much dirt you threw in his face, still looked like a Danish pretty boy. And would it have killed somebody to put a skull on a t-shirt  for him? I realize that they wanted the movie to be realistic but a t-shirt wouldn’t have made the movie any less credible than it already was. Even Thomas Jane, a man who looks only slightly more like the Punisher than Dolph does have a t-shirt with a skull on it.

#14. The Green Hornet

When I first heard that The Green Hornet was getting a comic book movie, I was stoked since I remembered reading the old Dell comics when I was just a wee one. When I heard that it would be in 3D I was stoked. When I heard that Seth Rogen would play the title character I was a little worried but the trailers looked good so I let it go.

Then I watched the movie and I was first horrified, then plain angry. The bad jokes, the bad screenplay and Seth Rogen, while usually a great comedy actor simply ruined the movie. The one bright spot in this crapfest was Jay Chou, a really talented Chinese singer who turned out to be a really talented fake martial artist. Maybe the movie should have taken a cue from the old Television series and named it “The Kato Show” like they did in Hong Kong in the sixties.

#13. Wanted

The truth about this comic book movie is that I would have liked it if I hadn’t read the comic book first. The comic book was based on a world in which superheroes used to populate but were all killed off by a massive team-up of all super villains, named The Fraternity. After that, the super villains changed the world into the one we are in. In the movie version, The Fraternity is given a more altruistic job. They are actually a group of assassins that get their assignments on who to kill by an… hum… ancient loom. Trust me, it makes a bit more sense if you watch the whole movie. Of course, being a comic book nerd the way I am, I of course would rather have seen a version of the comic book movie that would be closer to the original story.

#12. Kick Ass

Like “Wanted” above, this is a movie that I would have loved if I hadn’t actually read the comic book the movie is based on. It started off well enough. A fifteen year old boy decides to suit up and help people. The comic book is made to show what realistically could happen if this were to happen in the real world. About halfway through the movie this became evident that it wouldn’t happen the way it was supposed to. I will say one thing, the Hit Girl character? I could watch her fight scenes over and over.

#11. Spider-Man 3

When Spiderman hit theaters in 2001, most comic book geeks were psyched. Tobey Maguire was a seemingly perfect Peter Parker, Kirsten Dunst was half-decent for once as Mary Jane, and Aunt May was as perfectly cast as can be. The campiness was just right, Willem Dafoe was a creepy Green Goblin, and everyone was happy. The sequel was even better in my opinion, with an awesome Doc Ock in Alfred Molina, a villain who was genuinely evil yet sympathetic to the audience.

But holy banana split, what in the blue hell happened in Spiderman 3??? The sympathetic villain factor was forced down our throats with Sandman, forced to be a criminal scum to buy medicine for his daughter. Spiderman gets infected with the symbiote, which should be the most awesome thing on film ever, but instead just lead to him being a real penis head, dancing his way all over town while wearing black. Let’s not forget James Franco’s role as Harry Osborn, which involved him being a creepy douche smiling inappropriately whenever possible, but still saving the day in the end. I’m pretty sure this was the moment I realized Franco was a HORRIBLE actor (only to be proven wrong a few years later!).  Also, the guy that plays Harry’s butler HAS to be Sam Raimi’s wife’s dad or something—that may have been the WORST acting I’ve ever seen in a blockbuster film. And Topher Grace was Eddie Brock. I’m done even talking about him.

My favorite quote didn’t even come from the movie itself. It came from a guy in the bathroom after the movie was over. “I can’t believe I paid $10 to see them turn Spider-Man into a frickin’ chick flick.” I heard a man grumble from a closed stall.

#10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I’m not gonna write too long about this movie. It’ll make me angry. After the initial trilogy, it was long discussed that prequel movies for Wolverine and Magneto were in the works. Both have massive potential, especially Wolverine’s Weapon X origins. However, X-Men Origins: Wolverine sucks it hard by fracking up our timelines with dozens of anachronisms, and needlessly putting in characters such as Gambit, wasting their potential in the process. Ever since the first movie came out, me and every other fan-boy wanted Gambit on screen, and that’s what they gave us? Go frack yourself.

Just about the only redeeming quality of this movie was Ryan Reynolds’s perfect casting as Wade Wilson/Deadpool, except they made sure to bring back his character at the end of the movie and crap on him entirely. Oh, and Wolverine gets shot in the face with an adamantium bullet….. Yeah. I’m done.

#9. Superman 4: The Quest for Peace

It’s a rare thing for a film to be so bad that it puts a series on hiatus for 19 years.  Neither a commercial nor critical success, Superman 4 played like a series that had run out of ideas.

Case in point, when you create a super villain like Nuclear Man, born of a strand of Superman’s hair attached to a nuclear missile and thrown into the sun, you’ve run out of ideas.  Time to put the series to bed. Period.

#8. Barb Wire

I am so ashamed that I saw this movie, but I totally saw it.  I was pubescent and had uncontrollable desires, and Pam Anderson had boobs.

The writing was unbelievable daft, but what bothered me the most about this film was Barb Wire herself.  Sure, Pam Anderson can’t act unless she’s running on a beach with one of those floaty things attached to her, but they made her character a complete mess.

She doesn’t even qualify as an anti-hero like The Comedian from Watchmen, because Comedian gives you a few guilty laughs and “OH NO HE DINTS,” but Barb is such a horrible person, that’s it’s just impossible to root for her.  She spends most of the movie trying to screw everyone over, so in the end, it seems like she turns into a “hero” because she ran out of other options.

Oh, and the penultimate fight happens on a fracking crane. A crane.

#7. Captain America

Just to clarify, I’m not referring to the Captain America film with Chris Evans. I am referring to the little known 1990 film with Matt Salinger (J.D. Salinger’s son, btw) as Captain America.

You know when you go see a movie that no one else has seen and you really wish more people could see this movie?  This is not one of those situations.

The costumes are laughable, the characters are boring, the story is stupid, but the absolute worst part of this movie is Captain America.

He is useless.  He gets his but handed to him in his first major fight as Captain America, gets frozen in ice for about 50 years, thaws out, and turns into an arrogant, rude, obnoxious dude.

#6. Green Lantern

This movie was so bad that I almost completely blocked it from my memory. If I had a ring that could make anything I dreamed to become a reality and I was fighting against an entity that is destroying the universe, I would think of some crazy and creative weapons for battle, not something boring like a machine gun. Think outside the box ‘, man!

Budget? About $200 million to make. More about $150/$200 million in advertising and marketing. Box Office? Only $219 million. That gives you an idea of ​​the damage, right?

I just could not understand what they wanted to accomplish with this crap fest. It gives the impression that they at some point got desperate, took everything they could put in the movie and mixed the whole thing in a pot! The movie is virtually indefensible.

The only thing that still deserves a bit of respect about this stuff is Sinestro’s character, played by Mark Strong. The rest is a pile of nonsensical situations that leaves you with a question stuck in your head as you leave the theater: “Where are the two hundred million dollars they say they spent on this crap?!”

#5. Catwoman

Don’t you feel sorry for Halle Berry?  She bitched and moaned through each X-Men movie that Storm wasn’t given a big enough part, signed on to play Catwoman cause this would be a real chance to stretch her physical act, and then Catwoman turned out to be one of the worst films ever made.

Some of the movies on this list really upset me and left me angry, but this isn’t one of them.  It sucks, but I think it sucks in a way that makes it pretty enjoyable.  It’s like watching The Happening or The Room, you know?  Sometimes it’s just really fun to see a train wreck.

#4. Superman Returns

Bryan Singer would be TOTALLY forgiven for abandoning the X-Men movies if he gave us an amazing Superman flick… but he didn’t. Now, I’m aware that Superman Returns was “technically” successful both financially and critically. That being said, allow me to crap on it.

Superman Returns isn’t a reboot—it’s intended to be a sequel to Superman II, pretending Superman III & IV don’t exist. Can’t blame them for wanting to ignore those awful flicks, but Superman Returns sucks in its own right. Now, I’m a big Superman fan, despite the fact that Batman is clearly the coolest comic book superhero ever. And the previews for this flick looked pretty legit, but what we received was pretty much a gigantic slap in the face accompanied by a kick to the gonads from Bryan Singer and whoever he let write this movie.

The main idea is that Superman has been absent for five years, having been searching for the remains of planet Krypton. Within the same week, Superman returns to Metropolis, and Clark Kent returns from a five-year absence as well… plausible, right? As if that wasn’t bad enough, this movie has the sheer balls to introduce Lois Lane’s kid, who we are lead to believe is clearly the son of Superman when he throws a piano onto a bad guy. I’m beside myself with rage even writing this. As if this wasn’t offensive enough, we had to deal with Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. He was funny… but he shouldn’t have been. Poor Brandon Routh… he actually made a good Superman, but this movie sucked so much that even the mention of it to any comic book fan will be responded with rage and insults!

#3. Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

You know when you’re thrilled with the trailer of a movie and when you finally watch it you get disappointed? Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance achieved an incredible feat: To make the first “Ghost Rider” look good!!

The major problem in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is that it tries to be trash, pop and cool at the same time, and none of the three references work in the film. It’s all poorly led, and structured in such a strange way that it causes us to be ashamed of the movie, and the main reason for that shame is just the star of the movie: Nicolas Cage.

I saw this terrible movie in the worst possible format for it: 3D. Besides having paid dearly to see a cheap excuse of a 3D format on the big screen, I had to put up with this bastard of a movie on the screen. Poorly executed action scenes, horrible camera angles (I am sure they used the Michael Bay style of filming), an insignificant screenplay and full of holes (made by three hands: David Goyer, Seth Hoffman and Scott Gimple), dismal performances (Mr. Cage that means you) and average special effects make up Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, which is, with no doubt, one of the worst movies of 2012!

#2. X-Men 3: The Last Stand

There are three rules when making an X-Men movie:

1. You cannot kill Cyclops.
2. You cannot kill Professor X.
3. You cannot hire Brett Ratner.

This movie broke all three rules in quick succession, and proved to be a disastrous end to a successful and increasingly profitable series (although, amazingly, this movie did make a ton of money).  The first X-Men movie was good, the second was really good (miss you, Nightcrawler), and then, like he was Michael Bay, Ratner completely sucked the soul out of the series. Let’s not forget the ridiculous appearance of Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut, citing the now classic “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” line. I’m actually retardedly depressed that this movie stands as the most financially successful of the series, especially given the awesomeness of X2: X-Men United and X-Men: First Class. I want my £8 back!

This movie was to the X-Men series what Batman & Robin was to the Batman series.

#1. Batman & Robin

In the divine tradition of taking a formula that seems to work and just turning up the volume, Batman & Robin not only nearly destroyed the Batman franchise, but comic book movies as a marketable genre. That bad yes!  That last part isn’t an exaggeration.  There was speculation that another comic book movie would never be made because of the damage done from this film.

For example, it was widely joked that in Batman Forever they show Batman’s butt while he’s suiting up.  It was a nice laugh, sure.  So, Joel Schumacher dials it up to 11 in Batman & Robin, and we get this:

That’s right!  Twice the ass and now…batnipples!  Plus the worst opening dialogue sequence ever!  Hooray!

And, as we all know, it just got worse from there.  Arnold’s horrible quips (even by Arnold’s standard), cartoonish characters and villains (i.e. Bane), and of course…

A BAT CREDIT CARD!

I could talk about how truly horrible this movie is for days, but I think we can all agree that this needs no further explanation. Specially after the director himself apologizes for it!

———————————————————————————–

So these are my choices for the top 15 comic book movies that sucked. I do realize that like most lists you’ll find on the internet, these are only my opinion. You actually may have liked The Green Hornet, who am I to say? But for the most part I am willing to bet that my opinions probably match yours.

So what I’d like to know is: what are YOUR least favorite comic book movies?

wolverinept, Top 15 Awfully Bad Comic Book Movies

Greetings again, readers! Management has seen fit to bring me back for another week (yay!) to unveil a second episode of “Another 10-Spot”. This week was a particularly painful (and humorous) challenge to take on. I was tasked with presenting, in no particular order, ten of the worst comic book movies that have had the misfortune of being conceptualized. We as nerds, geeks, and dorks, all hold great passion and also great criticism when it comes to taking characters we’ve grown to love on the page and translating them to cinema. I’ve seen few genres as hotly debated as much as the good ‘ol comic book adaptation.

I developed a list and went to work re-watching these atrocities over the last week, to try and better understand what made these films suck out loud and I feel confident that at least the majority of you will agree.

So without further ado…

The Spirit (2008)

I fumbled about with this decision for a while. I couldn’t decide between X-Men: The Last Stand, Ghost Rider, or The Spirit. As awful as it will sound, the only reason that I initially opted for X-Men was due to the fact that Scarlett Johansson was in The Spirit and I happen to find her gorgeous. After fighting with myself over the decision, I realized that if feminine beauty and cleavage were the only things that could save a movie from a list, it probably deserves to be on said list.

From the drop of the green flag on this movie, it felt like [Frank] Miller was trying to re-capture the glory of Sin City in both style and dialogue. Unfortunately for him, Gabriel Macht seemed completely unwilling to cooperate with this concept of “acting”. On top of all that, I didn’t buy any of the female parts as really giving their 100% throughout. The only real people that seemed to putting in were actually Samuel “Say What Again, I dare you!” L. Jackson, and “Scar-Jo”, and that was solely based on the fact that I’m betting they were just having fun throughout the film.

Elektra (2005)

Perhaps if Jennifer Garner actually WANTED to do the Elektra movie it may have been better, but contractual obligations seemed to have led to a phoned in performance that did nothing to help a fairly thin plot. Let’s not forget to mention that the character just doesn’t feel right as a mentor of sorts. It sorta breaks my heart to throw this up here (not really) because I’m a fan of Terrance Stamp. However, Mr. Stamp has fallen upon some pretty terrible comic book adaptations over the years. In the end, Elektra falls prey to a questionable and thin plot/storyline, and a leading lady who doesn’t really want to commit.

Batman & Robin (1997)

It’s going to take every bit of resolve I have to keep from developing a migraine by just remembering this movie and writing up a coherent review. I’m not kidding. If there aren’t sporadic “GUH!” noises throughout, I will expect applause at the end. Nevertheless, let’s discuss the movie. It’s a psychedelic cluster**** in every meaning possible. The color scheme seems to go from neutral (after all, it is Batman) to just plain ghastly. I’m no interior decorator, but I have to squint any time we get to see Ivy’s hideout. On top of that, the characters themselves were so over the top that it was hard to get into any aspect of the story. Sure, I never really expect greatness out of “Ahnold”, but I did expect better out of the whole finished product. Nope. No such luck. Batman & Robin makes me realize just how thankful I am that Christopher Nolan was born.

Spawn (1997)

Oh 1997, why did you hate us so much? I’m going to come right out and say that I saw this movie when it came out in theaters, freshman year of High School I believe. At the time, I enjoyed it (and that says all sorts of bad things about my taste in anything back then… pretty sure I also owned a Creed CD. Stop me before I cause irreparable harm to my credit!). However, I look back on it and realize that it may have been the most expensive B-movie of all time. Visually, it was a pretty impressive movie for the time, and they nailed how The Violator and Malbolgia were supposed to look. That was about the end of the good. It was just entirely too cheesy. I think that Hollywood learned a valuable lesson: Michael Jai White can’t lead a movie AND have it succeed (man, I hope he doesn’t ever read this/find out where I live).

Superman III (1983)

I desperately wish someone would or even could explain to me the need to make this movie or to make it as goofy and shticky as it was. On top of the awkward humor everywhere you looked, the movie itself really seemed to feature Richard Pryor more than the title character. How does that work? How can you make a movie, call it “Superman”, and opt to give more screen time to a randomly created character than uhm… SUPERMAN? Moreover, someone somewhere genuinely thought that this was a great idea. Sigh. I can’t help but feel some degree of sympathy for Christopher Reeves for being caught up in this nonsense.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Otherwise known as “Superman IV: How to ruin an already crippled franchise”. At least the fourth (and final installment) in the series focused on the Man of Steel himself, which is more than can be said for the third. I’d like once more, to apologize to Christopher Reeves. It isn’t his fault that this movie is so dreadful, and I’m sure for the most part the graphics were pretty b*tchin’ for the time, but it never had a chance for standing the test of time. Of course, the primary problem was the plot and accompanying acting jobs. I can’t really quite grasp what they were going for when they cast John Cryer as a nephew of the iconic Lex Luthor. He looks like a punk kid, but speaks like a surfer. Thanks 80′s nonsense! Let’s not forget to mention the Nuclear Man catastrophe. Forgive me if I’m being thick or naive here, I just couldn’t help but ask myself: Nuclear Man draws his power from the yellow sun… Superman draws his power from the yellow sun… So how does this make him a vulnerability of Kal El’s? Not quite as bad as Supes III, but still pretty saddening.

The Punisher (1989)

So, the best thing that I can say about this movie is: Louis Gossett Jr doesn’t suck. Worst thing(s): We have to see Dolph Lundgren naked from behind. TWICE. Oh yeah, and Dolph as the lead. I wish I was kidding when I say that the only time he showed any real emotion was the second to last scene where he dares a kid to kill him. Apparently this adaptation depicted Frank Castle as a zombie. Of course, no action movie is complete in the 1980′s without some senseless violence, and just outright awful acting. If we’re being completely honest, I spent over half the movie trying to figure out what the white girl did to be a part of the Yakuza. Not wholly dreadful for an 80′s movie, but in the end, still pretty bad.

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Coming off two very well put together movies, what did the third installment of the Spider-Man trilogy have in store for us? There were two stories that had some sort of potential in there. Unfortunately, at some point, Sam Rami decided “hey, let’s headbutt these two ideas together and make one gargantuan mess!” Or at least that’s the what I’m imagining the conversation was when brainstorming for the plot. I wasn’t completely opposed to The Sandman’s part in the story. I thought Thomas Haden Church did alright with what he had. By itself, given more time to delve deeper, that could have made a movie that didn’t suck. Once they tried to cram in some bastardized Venom story, it went awry. I won’t even get into Saturday Night Fever Spidey, because there’s just no challenge in that and it’s been done to death. Let’s just say that aside from the struggle to overcome the symbiote, there wasn’t a redeemable thing about that side of the film.

Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D (1998)

There is plenty to say for a movie being so campy that it is fun. This is not one of those times. Between what felt like uninspired performances by just about everyone but “The Hoff” (who clearly committed to this like it was his crowning achievement sadly), dialogue that was just plain bad, and a made for tv style of filming, the movie is just plain unwatchable. Lets not forget to mention that the opening credits made me think I was actually watching the early intro to an episode of Baywatch. All in all, there are actually worse movies on this list, but that isn’t really saying much.

Catwoman (2004)

Alright, I’m going to break my own rule and just call Catwoman out for what it is: without a shadow of a doubt, the worst loose-adaptation of a comic book movie I have ever had the displeasure of sitting through quasi-against my will! That having been said, my first question is: when did Catwoman revolve around an ad girl at a shady cosmetics firm? That’s pretty god-awful, even by the standards of trying to make it female-friendly, beyond just a comic book stylized movie. I almost wonder if comic lovers of the fairer sex were bothered by the movie as much as I seemed to be. My second question, after having watched it again as a refresher: what am I watching? I absolutely wish I were kidding. Catwoman isn’t even campy, it’s completely goofy. I couldn’t help but think that this was a bad Lifetime channel attempt at making a comic book movie. It’s not unfair to say that it was time in my life I could have spent on something better, like developing a life goal, or drinking lighter fluid.

Mark Patton, Another 10-Spot: Worst Comic Book Movies of All Time

Who will Batman kill to save his own daughter? Right out of the gate that should tell you we’re dealing with a different kind of Dark Knight here. More ruthless, dangerous…the costume is familiar and yeah, there is a Wayne under the mask, but we’re looking at a man desperate to save the only family he has left. EARTH 2 is about to become a very bad place to be a bad guy.

And of course, what is Batman without Robin. Earth 2 writer James Robinson and World’s Finest editor Wil Moss speak on this particular Robin:

Helena Wayne has been taught how to be the perfect Robin. Assured as a detective, fighter, scientist, pilot and all around crime-fighter she’s been groomed by Batman to be the perfect caped manhunter (or should we say manHuntress) when she grows up.

Before coming to the main DCU Earth and taking up the mantle of Huntress, Helena Wayne fought crime alongside her father as the Robin to his Batman on Earth-2! But how did she come to be on this Earth? And why did she decide to become Huntress? You’ll get some clues in next week’s HUNTRESS #6, but for the real scoop, pick up WORLDS’ FINEST #1!”

Also featured will be Supergirl and Wonder Woman. Supergirl’s story will feature on her true motives and an incident that prompts her to take on the identity of Power Girl. Wonder Woman is teased as the last of the Amazons due to the events opening Earth 2 and she is out for revenge at any cost. We delve into the mystery about how she became the last Amazon.

Cody "The Thorverine" Ferrell, DC Earth 2 Character Sketches And Info

I leave you with an awesome fan art pic from 9GAG, and wow what a great pic!

DEH SHAY BAS SAH RAH!

What a nice piece of work!  I mean, I wouldn’t mind this being the official poster. How abut you?

Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, the terrorist leader Bane arrives in Gotham City, pushing it and its police force to their limits, forcing its former hero Batman to resurface after taking the fall for Harvey Dent‘s crimes.

Starring Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Tom Hardy, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard and Morgan Freeman, The Dark Knight Rises is set to hit theatres on July 20, 2012! 

Follow @TheAgentBurgos

Agent Burgos, FAN ART: DEH-SHAY-BAS-SAH-RAH

Great news Batman fans! While we have to wait until next year for the release of the new Batman movie  The Dark Knight Rises,  we don’t have to wait for new downloadable content for the Arkham City video-game!! How cool is that!?

Check what the official site announced today:

The Arkham Bundle brings together the Nightwing Bundle Pack, Robin Bundle Pack and the Arkham City Skins Pack for 1,200 Microsoft Points on the Xbox LIVE® Marketplace, or $14.99 on PSN and Games for Windows Marketplace. Also available for download today is the Challenge Map Pack, which includes The Joker’s Carnival Challenge Map, Iceberg Lounge Challenge Map, and a brand new invisible predator challenge map, The Batcave. The Challenge Map Pack is available for 240 Microsoft Points on the Xbox LIVE® Marketplace, or $2.99 on PSN and Games for Windows Marketplace.

And don’t forget! Fans of the game will be treated to the new Batman Inc. Batsuit Skin at no cost. This skin can be worn in the story campaign upon completion of the main story and in the challenge maps.

Also this is what the game director had to say to all of us fans:

Agent Burgos, Two New Arkham City DLC Packs And A FREE Skin Available!

“Guess who’s playing Robin?”  Well needless to say the tweet was quickly deleted. But Geoff Henao from Flixist, was able to take a screenshot of said tweet.

I think Levitt is a wonderful actor, and he fits the role pretty well. If Nolan decides to go the Robin route, he can make it work, even though he said he was not going to have Robin in his franchise. Only time will tell. What are your thoughts on this?

Agent Burgos, Guess Who’s Playing Robin?