Slowly but surely, comic book movies are getting to a level where they can be taken seriously, which wasn’t the case when the genre first hit theaters. There are exceptions of course, but in the mid 1990′s we were introduced to one of the worst comic book films ever mad in Batman & Robin and the comic book movie genre has had a big hill to climb ever since. One of the side effects from these bad movies is bad dialogue and to say that there have been some gems would be a massive understatement.
So, why not take a look at the worst of the worst. There are two consistencies on this list: Halle Berry and Batman & Robin. I could obviously go one for days about how bad some the lines are from these two topics, but I’ll keep it simple and try not to go off too much. And yes, there are many that I missed, but these are the worst of the worst.
6- Vinnie Jones/Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand: “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”
The movie was bad, yes, but the dialogue in this film was anything but awesome. I have no real complaints about Jones’s portrayal as Juggernaut (how he was written is a different ball game, however), but this line made me cringe and wince as if I’d just watched a guy take a nut shot. To say that it was expected wouldn’t be too far off, but to actually hear him say it? No. Just no.
5- Arnold Schwarzenegger/Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin: “Let’s kick some ice!”
I fully expect this move to have some bad lines. No movie is exempt from having lines that are a bit cringe-worthy. But just about every line that Mr. Freeze has in this movie is a terrible and predictable pun. This is probably the best of the bunch as far as acceptability, but that’s like saying it’s the best smelling piece of shit in the dog park. Oh, yeah, we’re not done with Freeze just yet!
4- Jessica Alba/Sue Storm in Fantastic Four: Doom: “Sue, let’s not fight.” Sue: “No, let’s!”
Riiiigggght. Alba’s horrific miscasting aside, this line was the icing on the cake for this movie. We know that the FF4 tends to be in the cheesy column, even in the comics at times. But to stoop to this level and drop a line like this? Add to that the fact that Alba couldn’t deliver a line if her life depended on it and you have…well, you have that scene!
3- Halle Berry/Catwoman in Catwoman: Laurel: “If you have no identity, why keep it a secret?” Catwoman: “Because you killed me.”
Ummm, what? It almost seems like someone skipped a line and we missed part of the conversation here. Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes as a kid: What’s the difference between a bicycle? Nothing, because Cheeto’s go crunch. To say this line is a head-scratcher would be misleading. This is simply terrible writing at it’s best.
2- Arnold Schwarzenegger/Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin: “What happened to the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!”
I told you he’d be back! (Sorry, had to do that). Of all the awesomely bad lines in this movie, I think this may rank as one of the worst. Aside from the fact that there are differing opinions on how the dinosaurs were killed off, what the hell do they have to do with Batman and a freeze gun?! It’s lines like this that The Dark Knight and Avengers have to fight against and it’s not an easy battle.
1- Halle Berry/Storm in X-Men: “Do you know what happens to a toad when it gets struck by lightning? Same thing that happens to everything else.”
Zzzzzaaaaap! Halle Berry strikes again! When people think of terrible movie lines, this is usually the first one that comes up. While watching this film and this scene first came up, I was expecting this epic burn that would have me saying “You tell ‘im Storm!” But no, I got the exact opposite: the truth. I fully expected the audience to bust up laughing, but it was completely silent, out of shock at how bad that line was and still is. It gets no less bad as time has gone on. I would hope that whoever wrote that line found themselves in line for unemployment. I’m sure they were quickly hired by Fox for another film though.
Feel like I missed a quote…or two? Be sure to sound off in the usual spot below! Have a suggestion for a “Top List”? Let us know!
Josh "ecksmanfan" Johnson
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